​​This Isn’t Pretty, But It’s Real

Hey, welcome to whatever this ends up being.

 

So this is my space where I'm gonna try something new: actually being honest about the weird shit that goes through my head instead of keeping it all locked up. Think of it like a public journal where I work through thoughts that feel too big or messy to just sit with alone.

 

I've been carrying around a lot of stuff in silence—the shame spirals, the way my brain convinces me I'm not good enough at things I've literally been doing for years, all the uncomfortable truths about healing and recovery that no one really talks about. I'm tired of pretending I have it figured out when most days I'm just trying not to talk myself out of things before I even start.

 

Here's the thing: when we actually say the uncomfortable stuff out loud, when we put words to those thoughts that feel too fucked up to share, something happens. Not just for us, but for whoever's reading and thinking "oh shit, me too." Like when someone describes that specific feeling of scrolling through Instagram and convincing yourself everyone else has their life together while you're over here struggling with basic shit, and you're like "yes, finally, someone gets it."

 

This is gonna be messy. Just me rambling about whatever's keeping me up that night, random breakthroughs, the daily bullshit of trying to choose growth over giving up. I write the way my brain works—jumping around, following whatever thread feels important, sometimes profound, sometimes just me trying to figure out why I got emotional at a Target commercial.

 

I think there's power in just saying things exactly how they are, no editing to make it prettier or more palatable. When we stop filtering ourselves, we connect with the parts of each other we usually hide.

 

So yeah, this is me thinking out loud. If your thoughts also move too fast or in seventeen different directions, if you've ever convinced yourself you suck at something you actually don't suck at, if you're tired of the gap between who you think you should be and who you actually are—maybe you'll find something here.

 

Here's to figuring our shit out, one random thought at a time.